The phony War on Christmas

The New York Times reports today that even Samuel Alito has been dragged into the fabricated "War on Christmas", via a series of moronic conservative radio ads. Not to dampen anyone's Christm- er, I mean holiday spirit, but on days like this I think our society has finally gone over the edge of reason - and it's no longer even worth the time to throw it a rope.

Both sides in this farce that has come to be an annoying annual sign of the Christmas season need to get a life. To begin with, the extremist voices of the Great God of Political Correctness need to accept the fact that as long as we've decided to adopt this day as a national vacation day, we should also accept the specific Christian origins of the holiday without fear of "prejudice", or "disrespect", or whatever current pejorative label is being affixed to the religious aspect of Christmas. If we're going to hum along to the strains of "Away In A Manger" while riding in the company elevator, then objections to an animated display of the three wise men in the town square are ridiculously paranoid.

And I say that as a non-Christian, bordering on agnosticism. I guess I'd like to have faith in some miraculous, omniscient, benevolent spirit, but I've inherited too many of my father's persistent doubts and insistence on common sense. Besides, even a perfunctory glance at human history demonstrates clearly that organized religion is divisive at best - and responsible for heinous acts of barbarity, intolerance, and war at its worst.

But, for God's sake (pun intended), Christmas is, at its core, about... well, Christmas! In a democratic nation that is almost 77 percent Christian, manger scenes and "Merry Christmas" salutations do not constitute a conspiracy of bigotry and disenfranchisement. I love this time of year, more for its secular spirit of giving and good will than the whole Messiah thing, but I'm certainly not so immaturely insecure or radically PC as to be insulted by true signs of the holiday itself. What's next - restrictions on Fourth of July speeches, celebrations and icons, lest we "marginalize" our English-born citizens and visitors?!

Saying or displaying the word "Christmas" at this time of year does not promote fanatic religious prejudices. At the same time, however, wishing passersby "Happy Holidays" does not connote an attack on Jesus or religious faith in general.

Which brings us to the flip side of the debate. Aside from a scant few over-zealous acts of political correctness around the nation, there simply is no "War on Christmas", and it's certainly not the huge, dangerous, important news story that the usual gang of shrill conservatives would have their followers believe. At this most magical time of the year, do Christians really want as their spokespersons the demonstrably intolerant, untruthful, vain, hypocritical, unholy trinity of Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and John Gibson?

When conservative groups advocate the boycott of stores that use the word "Holiday", I have to wonder - to which holiday do they think these retailers are referring? And what's so wrong with a little Christian inclusiveness anyway? Do conservatives really believe that Christmas is irreversibly endangered by a few generic signs, and some courteous acknowledgement of that other 23 percent of our citizens?

I wasn't aware that Christianity was in such a weakened condition.

C'mon gang, lighten up. Are we going to cite traditional songs like "Happy Holidays" and "Frosty the Snowman" as egregious insults to Jesus' day of birth? What about "Joy To The World"? If I remember correctly, there's a lot of king and savior and rules the world imagery, but no explicit mention of "Christmas".

This is a non-issue, and people of intelligence should emphatically tell both sides in this phony war to zip it. Even I've allowed myself to be sucked into the nonsensical debate, and I've afforded it far too much time and space here today. So, Happy Holidays everyone.

And I mean that in a really Christmas-y way.